Spiraling
by EmilyTheStranger
Summary: Prequel to "You Always Hurt the Ones You Love". Comission for my sister. RyukxLight One sided. Ryuk sees the Death Note change Light- making him spiral out of control, and it breaks his heart. Light doesn't think he's changed at all.


Light was hunched over in his chair, scrawling more kills in his Death Note with furious rapidity with a grotesque, maniacal look on his face. He looked like a demon, sitting there and ending innocent people's lives without a second thought about it. I didn't understand why he would want to kill the FBI agents who hadn't done any wrong instead of getting rid of them in more humane ways, but he insisted it was for the betterment of the world. The only thing I saw it as was Light's psyche and humanity blowing away steadily, like grains of sand in the wind.

It was like some horrible ritual he had developed, coming home and immediately killing without a second thought about it. I remembered when he had first gotten it from me; he had been cautious and only written names down sparingly, as if he were afraid the notebook would kill him, as well. There was a light and an innocence in his eyes that was gone now, replaced by steel and ice. He wasn't even Light Yagami anymore, as far as I was concerned. He was a pale imitation, a shadow of his former self.

"This isn't really necessary." I said shortly, perching myself in the air in front of him. He ignored me and continued writing in times of death for the empty slots where Raye Penbar would write down names. "This isn't necessary." I repeated, this time with more force in my voice.

"Ryuk," He began steadily, looking at me icily. "It _is_ necessary. It's necessary for the world—for Kira's world." I sighed.

"Okay, Light. See if you can follow me here. _You don't own the world." _ I said harshly, looking him straight in the eyes. He just shook his head and turned back to his page.

"I know _that._ But right now I'm in charge of making the world a better place. Now will you be quiet and let me work? I'll give you an apple." I was powerless to disagree when he said apple, so I obediently shut my mouth and allowed him to toss me the fruit.

'So, from what I can gather, Ryuk thinks I'm going crazy, but if that's the case, he's sadly mistaken. I'm the same man I was before, just a bit more driven.' I thought, smiling and turning to look at the news. As usual, the crime rate was dropping, thanks to me. I smiled a bit wider at the thought of people considering me their savior. Hey, if they wanted me as a god, that's what I'd be. My reverie of power was interrupted by Ryuk floating in front of me, looking annoyed.

"Would you just _stop that_?" He growled, switching off the TV. I was confused.

"Stop what?" I asked angrily. "Saving the world?" This made him angry, and he advanced towards me with a scowl on his usually grinning face.

"You're not saving the world!" He yelled. I groaned and switched the TV back on.

"And you're not being as impartial as you said you'd be." I countered, effectively quieting him. I smiled, knowing I had won the argument before it even started.

"He's out of control." I said to Rem softly, praying Light wouldn't hear. She looked at me skeptically.

"You just figured that out?" She said, sarcasm dripping on her voice. "He's a lunatic." I glared.

"That's a bit much." I said shortly, looking at Light over my shoulder. "He's just a bit... out of it." Rem looked at me cynically, obviously waiting for me to say more. "Well, maybe he's more than a_bit _out of it, but he's not totally lost." I said, hoping I sounded more confident than I felt.

"He's totally lost. Kill him." Rem said, her voice unforgiving. I chose to ignore her.

Where did Ryuk get this holier than thou attitude, anyways? He did exactly the same things I did with the Death Note, but somehow it was okay when it was him doing it and crazy when it was me. I was improving the world! I was getting rid of the undesirables so that good people could live in peace, and 

Ryuk killed so he could live longer. If he thought for a moment that I wasn't righteous, he was wrong. Even if he didn't realize that; I did, and that was all that mattered. He'd come around soon enough. I knew he would.

The numbers that floated above Light's head became smaller with every passing moment, mocking me with the fact that he wasted his short life on a futile attempt to change the world. I knew he shouldn't— no, he _couldn't_, find out how little time he had left, but every day I wished I could tell him so he could start living a life worth living. What was worse was the ever-growing realization that it would have to be me who ended it all for him. If only he could see the sands in the hourglass of his life falling away. If only he could see that he was dying.

I gasped, pain shooting through my hand as I realized that I had been shot. I fell to the ground, the piece of Death Note I had been writing on fluttering away. I winced as the shrapnel from the bullet lodged itself in to my flesh, and I glared at Matsuda menacingly. Near looked happy with the way things were turning out, which made my blood boil. He couldn't win, he just couldn't. And I knew a way to get rid of him that even he couldn't see coming. I knew that Ryuk wasn't impartial, I knew that the poor fool cared about me, and I intended to milk that to the very last drop. He would help me if I pleaded enough, if I looked desperate enough. He wasn't strong enough to say no.

"Please, Ryuk! You're all I have left to rely on! Please write the names down!"


End file.
